McDonalds - home of the desperate for internet

Thursday 19 March 2015

Cloudy at first with sunny spells later 17 degrees

Technology is a wonderful thing when it works.  The main computer has gotten itself into a real mess and is operating at teenager with chores speed.  On looking at programmed tasks, I discover that the weekly defragmentation is set for 1 am rather than 1 pm and consequently it hasn't been defragged in about six years.  Oops.  On setting it to analyse, it takes about an hour to do 10% so OH goes down to the rental units and I try and load some new properties.  My laptop is also very slow and a speed test shows we are down to .4 of a giga.  Ring up the provider and wail.  She says she will do a manipulation and the speed goes up to 1.4 for about 20 minutes.

OH comes come for lunch and I wail at him and he says go to McDonald's, home of the desperate for Internet.  Bugger, that means getting changed and dragging a comb through my hair.  My face is still very swollen.  The dentist's assistant has rung me twice to ask if I am alright and not in pain.  You wouldn't get that on the National Health.  The stitches are in silken thread, rather than the cat gut to which I am violently reactive, and being sewn up made me laugh.  My reaction certainly surprised my charming dentist.  I bet the number of people who spontaneously exhibit mirth whilst in his surgery, can fit on the head of one of his drills.  Closer inspection reveals that a tiny flake of ceramic has detached itself from the face of the new tooth.  Will have to ring up tomorrow and tell them.  The new tooth is very firmly affixed with glue and laser.  Really don't want them to heave it out but don't want a tooth which is going to disintegrate.

Ring up central admin and tell them about the accepted offer and get the reaction of joy that I had hoped to receive from the vendors.  They log offer for me and I get a number of texts saying well done and a call from the business manager who was really supportive with a nightmare case from last year.   Take dog for quick walk.   Someone has drawn what looks like a star burst in yellow spray next to the telephone pole which carries our Internet.  If they come along with diggers, I may have to chain myself to the pole until they promise to restore Internet within the day.   Last year, I lost Internet for a whole month.  I work from home so I spent a heck of a lot of time in McDonald's or parked outside the Tourist Office.  The staff know I live here so won't let me come in and use the desk space because I am not a tourist. The desks are free for about 98% of the time and it wouldn't kill them to let me use them but they are jobsworth bastards and I hate them intensely.  I deliberately park where they can see me, just outside the window, and get out the laptop in as much of an ostentatious manner as is possible in the driving seat of a hybrid.  When they go home for lunch or at night time, they turn the wifi off.  I did complain to the Mayor's Office and pointed out that my taxes were paying for those people.  Unfortunately, my taxes seem to pay for people in public service whose primary aim is not to serve the public but to obfuscate and preserve their own little domains.

Working at McDo's must be like real estate - either you are overrun with clients or you are mopping the floors and trying to look busy.  There was just one table full of teenagers, eating one bag of chips between them and drinking a selection of soft drinks.  McDo's has recently been updated and redecorated.  Interestingly, the renovation included taking out two of the three ladies cubicles so now there is only one wc for a restaurant which must serve hundreds of people a day.  I got a cappuccino and circled the restaurant, looking for somewhere to plug in the laptop.  The only plug was next to the table of teenagers.  I set up on a nearby table and found that the Internet kept on going off.  I gazed intently at the teenagers who kept ringing people up, putting them on broadcast, and telling the callee they were at McDonald's.  Much shrieking and laughing.  They left just as my laptop was about to crash.

People started coming in again about 5.30 and by the time I left at towards 7, there were quite a number of clients.  I never realised people eat their evening meal here - families were arranged around the long banks of tables and quite a few parents were drinking beer.

I managed to get the rest of the properties loaded, ring and make some appointments and send many emails.  Back home and wrangle the bins down to the corner of the road (150 metres) and find OH has made the fire,fed the dog and washed up.  Tittivate some pizzas with some tomatoes soaked in garlic and olive oil which I find in a bottle in the fridge.  Surprisingly, the main PC has finished defragging and is working at a speed something approaching normal.

Should men in hard hats be saying Oh La La?

Tuesday 17 March 2015

Lovely and warm - got up to 20 degrees in afternoon

I love my dentist but I am happy when I don't have to see him too often.  Our local village road is being chopped up by three huge machines and there are giant spools of cable lying around at the edges of the muddy fields.  'Youre going to have fun today', I say to the foreman as I waited in line to squeeze past in the narrow space between the engine wheels and the deep ditch.  'Oh la la' he replied.  Do you know, that just doesn't seem quite right coming from the lips of a hairy, middle aged guy wearing overalls and a bright orange hard hat.

The dentist's waiting room is empty.  Last time I was here, there was a lady of 'a certain age' as they say over here, wearing more jewellery than you would have thought (a) possible (b) appropriate for an such an occasion.  I try and look broke in the hope they will charge me less.  (It doesn't work but I do get them not to cash my cheque until the insurance pays out).

I am called and climb onto the reclining chair which then tips back at an angle which makes my head spin.  There is a screen on the ceiling which runs a series of images.  Presumably they are meant to be a distraction or even a comfort.  Some of the pictures are 90 degrees sideways.  One of the images is of an ocean with what looks like a distant shark fin.  There is then a closer view.  It is a shark fin.  I am not comforted.  An assistant hovers nearby and covers me in paper.  I think she is there to stop me running away.  Dentists and their aides must be able to smell fear.  My lovely dentist appears and pumps in enough anaesthetic to numb a rhino to the gum where he will be doing the 'little surgery'.  I ask him if this is absolutely necessary.  I think we both know what he said.

To start with, he hooks out my temporary crown and fits the new one.  It feels very tight and takes a lot of trimming to fit with the lower jaw.  He takes a bit of a lower incisor to get it just right.  He then gets out the scalpel and I close my eyes and the sickly taste of blood fills my mouth and the assistant does a lot of aspiration with a violently sucky tube.  Oh la la said the dentist.  Instead of being able to clean up the area where the abscess was, he has found that the root has split in two so that needs to come out and so does the tooth.  Fortunately the root comes out in three pieces.  The assistant shows it to me.  It is surprisingly long.  He sews up my gum and rasps away at the dead matter and cauterises with a laser.  I have to put up with a missing tooth for six weeks and then have a bridge.  The quote is for over 1500 euros.  I pay a nominal amount right away and go and see the insurance agency who cover me for medical expenses.  The lady promises to send the invoices and quote off immediately.

I pop in and see a lady and get a new sales contract on her house.  She gives me some fizzy water and shows me her quote for dental work.  Even bigger than mine.  She needs two bridges.  We are getting old, she says, laughing.  Speak for yourself Mrs.  I am still in there and pitching.

I ring the agency head and update her on the goings on of yesterday.  She says we must take a back seat and let the lawyers sort it out.  Go and suck down some McDonald's wedge potatoes with mayonnaise and have a coffee.  My nose and part of my eyelid are also partially numb.  Must come over as less of a wuss next time I go and see dentist.  Actually, who am I kidding.  I am mega wuss.

Back home and am just about to take out the dog when the seller of the house in town rings to say that the other buyers have taken the advice of an avocat and will be attending the signing at the agent's office but they themselves won't be either attending or signing.  They also are instructing an avocat.  She sounded surprisingly chipper.  I send my would be buyers an email and hope they won't ring me.  Feel like I have gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson.

Prepare the offer document and buyers and sellers details paperwork and send everything off to everyone.  Make chili rabbit and chorizo casserole and have sleep on sofa.  OH out fishing for afternoon.

How much sharper than a serpent's tooth (is the drill of the dentist)

Thursday 5 March 2015

Sunshine!!  5 degrees rising to 12 degrees

Thursday is one of my favourite days of the week.  I get to go down the market, root around in the charity shop, and drink coffee and catch up with friends.  Today, oh joy, the sun has made its reappearance and bright puffy clouds are scudding along at great speed.  The lawn is sparkling and dewy.  Whatever it is that is in the loft that given me a night's respite from its rootings and chewings, and I feel ready to get up and welcome the day.

OH declares his intention to come down and work in the rental unit whilst I 'gallivant' around the market.  I put on my new crystal and think 'synchronicity', I am ready for what you are about to send my way.  We park up on the outskirts of the town and are cutting through the narrow cobbled streets towards the centre, when an English couple stops us and asks for directions to the market.  OH immediately engages them in conversation (think he misses being in sales) and they say they will be looking to buy in the area - OH immediately tells them that I am an estate agent (without letting me get a word in sideways).  Ah, says the man, that is synchronicity....   OH goes off to paint and I take them for a coffee and they are charming and coming back with their family in the Summer to check out the area.  We swap details and they leave smiling.  How good is that!  I rub my crystal and say, well done you.

The bar in which we had been drinking the coffee has recently undergone a substantial renovation.  It has lost its squashy sofas and the days newspaper.  The bar stools, which accommodated bottoms of all sizes, have also been culled.  The lighting is subtle - which means for old gits like me - you cant see what you are drinking after twilight falls.  The older clientele are perching unhappily on the new stools or are parked at the spindly tables.  In the toilet, there is more subtle lighting, including fish shapes, circling around the walls.  If I didn't love the people behind the bar, I would not be going in their any more.  The new owner is looking to attract younger clientele and will be opening up a music venue in the back room. The people who live down town will really love that and the timid policeman will not be sleeping easy in his bed.  He is the one who went around to see the woman with the dogs who were aggressive with me.  He told her that I had complained and when she started to argue with him - he just passed the phone over to me

http://leavingmynormal.blogspot.fr/2015/01/somewhat-shaken-with-good-news-later.html

I leave when I see the owner approaching and I know he is going to ask if I like the change and I know I will have to say no.

Here are some photos of today's market:

1950s booklets

Hats ahoy

Anyone for pork?

Telling a story

Supine jeans and very scary leggings

Mountain chic

Installation or for sale?  Figurines demand table status

OH rings me up and is very excited.  A Chinese guy who he recognises from the gym, is visiting one of the other flats in the building.  I am to go immediately and find him and show him our flats.  I go to the Chinese restaurant and explain slowly and carefully to the Chinese girl on reception that I am looking for the man who is Chinese who goes to the gym and does he work here?  She smiles and nods throughout and then says, Do you want to eat?  I say do you understand me and she smiles and says No.  I run around to the gym and rifle through the membership cards to see if I can find a Chinese name.  No joy.  I hover in the queue and wait for the receptionist to get around to me.  Behind his head is a large screen, advertising the various membership options and services available.  Who should pop onto the screen, carefully massaging green slime into a smiling and happy client's back, but the Chinese guy.  Aha moment!!  He is not there but will be there later on in afternoon.

Unhappily, I have a date with my dentist.  He is from Corsica and he is absolutely gorgeous with black hair, malteser brown eyes and great teeth.  He is also very solicitous and keeps asking me if I am OK.  I tell him he will know if I am not OK because I jump.  Ah yes, he says.  He immobilises me and pumps in great, jump inhibiting, quantities of anaesthetic and takes out my fragile crown.  The receptionist comes in and there has been a mix up between two clients and they and the nurse try and sort it out on the screen there and then. You are getting a little break, Signora B, says the dentist happily.  My breathing at this point has almost gone back to a normal rhythm.  I hate the smell of burning tooth, the sickliness of blood on my tongue and especially the various drill noises - the high mosquito whine, the droning of the medium needle but what I particularly hate is the deep grinding of the heavy duty jobbie.  I make the mistake of opening my eyes and see that he has a needle the size of a mutant wasps sting and is about to insert it into my tender gum.  I ask him if he has nearly finished and he has.  His nurse is a trainee and keeps running into tables and my feet.  Finally, after an hour, it is over and I have a temporary crown which is slightly too long but I will have to put up with for ten days.  I go and slurp a coffee and get pitying looks from people on surrounding tables.  

I go back to the gym and the Chinese guy isnt there and so I leave a message and go home and feel exhausted and discover people have been falling out on the group and someone has left.  PM people and tell the offenders they are on point.

Great British Sewing Bee semi final night and it is leather and lace, with a wetsuit to alter.  I loved Neil's contribution of a well fitting halter neck rubber top and lovely lace skirt.  The winning article from Debbie was a bit of a monstrosity.  I do love Claudia Winkleman - she gives wonderful innenuendos such as 'they want it stiff and big' and 'this is my first time boning'

To bed early. 

Cheaper than Merthyr Tydfil!

Tuesday 20 January 2015

0 degrees

Up and down town early to sort out insurance on rental unit.  Transpires that our town office is closed Monday and Tuesday of each week.  Great.  Waited outside rental unit.  Very cold. Text arrived to say that the lady guest was having trouble 'coming round';  Wondered if man had given in a completely natural urge to knock her out.  Apparently not.  Could I come back in half an hour.  Of course, I have sod all else to do.

Go into the lovely coffee shop and have to insist that I do not want to join in the Tuesday morning cultural exchange group.  People who speak bad French converse with people who speak bad English.  One of my sellers is there and is delighted and promptly uses me as breathing dictionary.  I don't know the word for bed springs.  It is ressort.  So I learn something too.  A French lady is running through a list of English words which came up in last week's conversation, and which she is having trouble pronouncing.   Heaven, hell, urges, commitment, self worth.  Feel I should have been here last week as this one they are discussing wonky springs and bad nights' sleep.

Ten thirty comes around I go to the front door of rental unit building.  No one there.  I go up the 42 stairs and knock on the door.  No reply.  I go back down the 42 stairs and ring them. Man picks up phone and says they are in the flat and he thought he had just heard someone knocking.  I go back up 42 stairs and man is ready and woman is still farting about.  She farts about until 10.50.  I am fuming.  She finally emerges and says hello! brightly and doesnt apologise.  I so deplore bad manners.  

Get them out and into the car and we have to go and see the second house first because we are now running so late.   Man takes pictures of everything.  Woman talks incessantly and trips over steps, carpets, mats, table legs and walls.  We leave and then go to the next house which is their favourite.

They absolutely love this.  The woman, who is parsimonious to put it mildly, is thrilled with the price.  You couldn't buy at that price - even in Merthyr! She exclaims.  She asks if the 1920's wooden floors are real and mistakes a wooden infil in a bedroom fireplace for a rug. I need coffee or I am going to start shrieking.  Go back to lovely coffee shop and the class have gone and woman goes to the loo and the man and I enjoy the silence.  The woman comes back and attempts to find a postcard for a price she is willing to pay.  I take the opportunity to talk the man through the buying process.  

We leave the café and I point out the local restaurants.  They decide to go back and have a ham sandwich with the lovely bleached white bread she had found in the supermarket yesterday.  Called, disparagingly, industrial bread by the locals.

I go back and eat a banana and a pear and head for the dentist.  My dentist is so beautiful and has the most wonderful teeth.  The prognosis is not good - my crown is very fragile and can't be repaired.and I have an infection above a fortunately devitalised tooth on the other side.  900 euro quote.  Thank heavens for 30% state contribution plus top up health insurance.  Have a McChicken sandwich as feel quite faint.

Back home.  The man rings twice to say he is lost and can't find the flat.   Our town only has four main streets.  Are they fuck wits enquires OH?  I tell him about quote from dentist and he suggests I get dentures.  I don't think he was joking either.