Getting on the road to happiness whilst side stepping a viper

Friday 20 February 2015

Drizzly with short sunny periods
8 degrees

Why did I tell OH I would go with him to the perishing rental units for the mornings during the weeks to come - well to get things finished more quickly.  Put dog in the shed as he had been very naughty during the night and made a terrible mess on the kitchen floor.  I had awoken extremely early, excited about a website project, and had had to battle with a recalcitrant plastic top on the bleach bottle for a good five minutes.  By 9 am I felt very tired but non the less, we got to town and I went for some bread and cake.  There was a guy lurking by the fountain, and he looked strangely familiar.  

'Heuy' he intoned, nasally.  Oh God, it was last year's buyer of my nightmares, who has still to sign on his property, and there he was, large as life, and twice as viperous.  He shook my hand limply and his wife whimpered 'everywhere is closed - where can we get coffee?'.  I sent them off to the Betting Shop at the far end of town.  That will be an eye opener for them.  The guy has a habit of looking over your shoulder when you are talking to him, and slithering his eyes sideways to focus on you for a moment, before sliding off in another direction.  He claimed to be the young estate agent of the year in his native country.  I wouldn't buy a dog from him.

Somewhat shaken, I report back to OH, who is only actually interested in the cake.  Spend morning scraping paint off badly painted windows and doors and then go and have a look at OH's tiling activity in the upstairs bathroom.   He has spread around the grout with liberal abandon, and then not wiped any of it off.  It looks like a two year old has done it.  He has also left a huge amount of mess in the bath, the bidet, the sink and the kitchen.  I am in a very bad mood by the time I finish.  Back home with stony silence for lunch.

Walk dog and think about Abundance - inspired and taken from The Abundance Project

Number One: Make Up Your Mind

Decide what you want out of life and then plan to take charge of your life. Not just the big things, but the seemingly unimportant things too. Really take the time to analyze your circumstances and decide what you want. There may be small things you do because you feel like you have to; you don’t. Decide what you do want and make those things happen. Everything you decide you want in your life may not happen right away, but if you’ve truly made up your mind, they will happen in time.

Number Two: Let the Loudest Voice be Your Own

There are so many people around us all the time that think they should speak up about our lives. Well-meaning friends and family tell us every day what they think we should do and how you should take charge of your life. Sure, they may have some good advice, but they are not you! They don’t know what your dreams are and they can’t possibly know exactly what you’re feeling. Although receiving advice can be helpful, there is no voice that should be louder than your own. Put everyone else’s voice on mute and listen to your inner gut. Do what you feel is right for you!

Number Three: Speak Positively in Your Own Mind

In order to take charge of your life, your inner voice must be positive. If you are running the show, you better be confident. Whenever fear creeps in or negative thoughts start to overrule, acknowledge that they are there and move on! As quickly as you can, get back to a place where you know you can succeed. Soon, you will train your mind to think positively and to be confident in your own capabilities. Use the power of your thoughts to propel you forward through your life.

Number Four: Get Up and Get Busy

Instead of letting life rule you, you’ve decided that now you’re in charge! What an amazing change, right? Right, but in order to be in charge of your own life you have to get up and get busy! Nothing you want to experience in life is going to just happen, you have to go out into the world and create your own experiences. If you’ve always wanted to fall in love, you have to start dating. In order to start dating you have to meet people and socialize. You will never socialize if you’re sitting at home, but you might if you get up and get yourself out with friends! Along the same lines, if you’ve always wanted to be fluent in French, you have to sign up for a class and study; you have to get busy!

Number Five: Re-think the “Why”

We’ve already discussed in number 1 that it is important to make up your mind about what you want to do. However, another important component of taking charge of your life is to analyze why you want what you want. Make sure you are doing things for you; it is your life after all. Make sure that you’re not doing what your parents want you to do or what your friends are all busy doing. What you should be doing every day is what you really want to do or taking the steps to get to what you really want. Life truly is too short to waste time pursuing things you’re not interested in. Strive for your goals and spend time doing things that make YOU happy.

Number Six: Stop Procrastinating

Ask yourself this, if you died tomorrow what would be your greatest regret? Is there anything in life you’ve always wanted to do but you just keep putting it off? Take charge of your life by putting an end to procrastination. Start doing those things that you’ve always wanted to do and start becoming the person you want to be today.

Number Seven: Take Responsibility of Your Life

Stop blaming your life circumstances on anyone or anything. You are in charge so start taking full responsibility of your life. When there’s no one to blame but you, you might just find that you start doing something to improve your circumstances. Once your thought process changes and you take responsibility for your own life, you will realize that what happens to you is entirely up to you!

Number Eight: Prepare Yourself

Seneca, the Roman philosopher, said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Prepare yourself for whatever you aspire to. Maybe it’s something small like learning to paint or going on a morning run 3 times a week or maybe it’s something big like being a better Father or landing the perfect job. Whatever it may be, prepare yourself mentally and physically and you just might “get lucky”.

Number Nine: Do Not Complain

Last but not least, don’t complain; ever. Complaining does absolutely no good, period. Whenever you feel like complaining take action. Start to analyze your complaints and decide whether there is anything that can be done to fix them. There is almost always something to be done: do it and stop whining. You’re in control now.

Number Ten: Start Now

Take charge of your life by making a list of all the qualities that you want to be possess. Once you have your list, don’t waste any more time, start being that person! Do as many of those things as you can every day. If you’ve always thought that one day you would wake up early enough every day to watch the news and read the paper before work, then start doing it today. As Bob Dylan wisely said, “Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you’d like to act.”

http://www.theabundanceproject.com/

The lovely Graham Norton ...

Sunday 15 January 2015

Lots of rain - 4 degrees warming to 13

OH took dog out for constitutional and I baked lemon meringue pie and mince pies. Listened to Graham Norton.  He is the only 'celebrity' I would actually invite to a party.  He is on the Radio and does a particularly amusing agony aunt feature, accompanied by a lady presenter.  They have quite different opinions of the issues and then the public chips in.  I used to greatly enjoy reading his agony aunt column in the Saturday Telegraph.  He has a lot of compassion, our Graham, and much empathy.

"Remember that sleeping with friends is lazy and selfish: we don't cook our pets just because we're hungry and they're sitting right by the oven."  —Graham on troublesome relationships

 

"Dogs and DIY are where relationships end up, not where they start." —Graham on looking for love

 

"Stay on the moral high ground—it's much easier to swing a baseball bat from there."  —Graham on forgiving betrayal

 

I also love his sometimes waspish tone and how he is not afraid to reprimand.

From Wikipedia :  Upon joining Equity, he chose Norton as his stage name, which is his great-grandmother's maiden name. In 1992 his stand-up comedy drag act in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe as a tea-towel clad Mother Teresa of Calcutta made the press when Scottish Television's religious affairs department mistakenly thought he represented the real Mother Teresa.

Someone at work has gone on a sudden sabbatical.  Have they jumped or were they pushed? Need to find out.

The good ship Leaving Normal is treading water this month, so far.   Oh yes, a tricky sale seems to have sorted itself out, without my having to get involved - the parties have come to an agreement between themselves.  However, another sale is kicking off again with the vendor being asked to pay for a survey, for which he has no legal obligation, and he has said if the buyer wants it, they can pay for it.  Alternatively, he has suggested I can pay half out of my 'generous fees'.  My generous fees are diminished by the introducer, VAT and social charges and resemble a Maasdam cheese, ravaged by very hungry rats suffering from a cheese deprivation regime, by the time they have finished taking their bites.  The buyer has also greatly benefited from the change in the dollar rate so they can put up or shut up, basically, is the notary's opinion.

Ripped up old, dead matter off the garden during the brief sunny period.  One of the long borders is now completely clear.  Many tiny tufts of Nigella poking through.

Oh fate, you are a stony hearted bitch!

Saturday 14 February 2015
Valentines Day
Absolutely persisted it down all day - 8 degrees

Informed OH that we would win 13000000 euros in the Friday 13th Lotto draw.  Looked at my numbers this morning.  If I had chosen my normal numbers, which I hadn't and instead had gone for a lucky dip (ha ha not), I would have won 13 euros.  Oh fate, what a sense of humour you have!!!

Went for a drive out to a big city a couple of hours away.  Spray on the motorway was dreadful, lots of road works and OH was squeezing past waving lorries and perilously near to the barriers.  Aquaplaned twice.  Arrived a nervous wreck.

Had a coffee and nibble and discovered a material shop.  Managed to get in before they closed.  The owners were dressed as goblins.  I didn't like to ask why.  Didn't find anything I liked but noted the name and address for next time. Noticed some people in furry onesies strolling past the large front window.   Curious...

Wandered round the shops and it started raining in earnest so we went into another bar and were served by Snow White's evil stepmother who was shouting orders at a team of hot looking elves.  Small girls dressed as Snow White and Cinderella in princess mode ran around, shod in perfect small red tap shoes.  A group of 70's hippies came in and a transvestite in a bright pink wig.  We were starting to feel seriously drab and under dressed. I decided it would be a good idea if in future I dressed as a 70's chick.  Clothing was so much more vibrant back then.  Must go to charity store and find something jolly to revamp, à la Sewing Bee.

Apparently it was just a Carnival and anyone could dress up how they felt inclined.  Very amusing group of cackling nuns in the main square.  In a side street, discovered a group of Spanish 'Russians' dancing to Abba.  Only in Spain....

Walked along the lake front and the waves and spray were huge.  People were battling with their windsurfing boards which were being tossed around like flotsam.  

Back home and felt duly refreshed.  Took dog for quick walk and I could see my breath.  OH made cod cheeks in butter, pimientos with sea salt, skate wings and we followed up with cheese and biscuits.

So tired, managed to sleep through both the rugby and football and at 10.30 OH woke me up and insisted I went to bed, where I slept surprisingly well.

Playing on the heartstrings of desperate people

Thursday 12 February 2015

4 degrees rising to 15!

Rose early to listen to the replay of E Herv Eker's 'Masterclass' on MindValley.  If possible, it was even lighter on content than that of Christie Sheldon and lasted two and a half hours. The joy of the replay is being able to bypass the obligatory sob story (76 minutes) and then, what a surprise, he makes a breakthrough by embracing the idea that he can be spiritual and really, really, really (he loves repetition) rich.  He also gives us the nugget that your route to success must match who you are.  Much, much later, he does a visualisation of being at a fork in the road and going in the right hand direction and all is bad etc etc and how does that make you feel and then back to the fork in the road and take the left hand road and all is wonderful.  And to take the right fork, you have to buy his Spiritual Laws of Money products and they are nearly 300 dollars.   Apparently 147 people signed up for this crap on the first day.  Oh, sad and desperate people.   If Eker is indeed a multi, multi (counted to ten on his fingers) millionnaire and desperately wants to help people, why the fuck is he charging them?   The first step to being a millionnaire is to have your scruples cut out and burn them.   Decided to write a help book myself.

Dropped off utility vehicle for MOT then back home to drop off OH and go to meet today's clients.

Hung around in a car park, waiting for the clients, and they were waiting in a different car park.  Finally met up and took them to the house and they were impressed by the interior, which is indeed lovely.  They were not so keen by the barricades erected by the frankly strange neighbour and also there were quite a few trees.  They are selling because there are a lot of trees and the guy is fed up of picking up the leaves.  We are there for well over an hour.  They are going to draw up a list of favourite properties to revisit next week and will then make a decision.  I suggest two other properties and send them the details.

Back home and find OH just about to take the dog out and did I want to trail around in the mud with him.  No I didnt.  Not pleased to find that, yet again, no dishes washed and crap all over the floor.  Cleaned up, in bad mood.  Filed papers that were trailing around everywhere.  Looking at my meter readings for the rental units, I really hope I have read them incorrectly because the difference between last years consumption and this one is absolutely vast and over 1000 euros.

Made chili and did the VAT return online after having turned out all my bags and pockets to find the maximum of chargeable receipts.

Down at the gym, my subscription card had disappeared and no one was available to help so I took the card of a person with a similar sounding name and dived into the blissfully warm and frothing waters.  The lifeguard did notice and I said it was a mistake and he said OK and went back to throwing the bikes in the small pool for the aquabike session.  They landed with some force and large waves splashed over the people who were still doing lengths.  Sod health and safety.  You have just got to love it.

Did 30 lengths and the sun shone on the water and steam rose off the wavelets.  Heaven. Watched GBSB.  Very difficult waistcoat as first task then some brilliant relooking projects and then a 3d construction exercise.  Puffing, pouting black haired lady bunged off.  Men are very strong contenders this year.

A day of bits and pieces

Wednesday 11 February 2015

2 degrees rising to 12
sun at last feeling like it has some warmth

Retook mandate on a property which I had had some time ago.  Perched on a ridge and with a fabulous garden and a swimming pool which is in great condition, it is inhabited by a lady from Andalusia and her Portuguese husband.  We speak of Ronda and she tells me how much building has gone on there, that the last time she went with her sister, it was an hour before they managed to find the house in which she had lived the first 15 years of her life. She spent many years in France, as did I, and she said she found the French very 'closed' - meaning not open to relationships with others and also with the meaning of not entertaining new ideas.  I asked her why the Spanish are so different - why do they all live in apartments, even in the middle of the country where there are acres of land - why they all promenade in the evening - why no one goes to bed before the early hours of the morning? She didn't know but said that everyone knew everyone in a town and that could only be a good thing. We laughed and agreed that the Spanish were not at all, in any way, like the French.

Their house is not so lovely from the inside and has the most villainous artex, in a selection of patterns for the visitor to detest, over all of the interior walls.  Not sure I could live with it. It transpires that my clients for tomorrow have indeed seen the house and the artex was a big no-no.

Back home for quick lunch then had to take the utility vehicle for new tyres before the MOT tomorrow.  A long wait, horrible coffee from the machine, and an interesting article on how people in French kitchens are abused, treated like dogs, made to drink water that they have over salted, kicked up the bums and punched. Shame on you Joel Robuchon!

Finally liberated and went to take back a Livebox to the phone shop, then tried to get a certificate out of the social security office for an English couple who have gone back to England and are still officially in the system because they have not asked for this certificate. You have to write a letter - text the man, who we were great friends with and give him the words to write.   Have good coffee and doughnut in a local store and watch the locals drinking wine and beer and small children warming up on hot chocolate and cakes.  Back to our town and pick up some keys for the visit tomorrow.   Look at the car and realise the poor MOT man will not be able to see a thing so have to take it to the car wash and blast off the mud and crud.

Back home and OH is making a throw it all in the pot casserole.  Rabbit and red wine that was too horrible to drink with some chili.  Not his most successful dish.

Brambling in the pale winter sun

Sunday 8 February 2015

White and cold and -2

Had thought we were going to an art gallery today but OH said we needed to combine trip with a visit to a DIY store, so will have to be later in the week.  Sun was out so we walked the land and discovered that the brambles were strangling the mixed hedging planted over a couple of autumns ago.

OH watched rugby and I tackled the brambles which were tip rooted as well as very deeply main rooted.  Got off two huge barrow loads.  Discovered beautiful briar rose growing in the thicket so left that to flower over the hedge this summer.  Brambles up to five metres long and intertwined in the hedge.  Took some time and OH came out and assisted and I then left him to play his favourite winter game of 'pick up sticks' and he made a huge bonfire. Dog enjoys playing pick up sticks too but is rubbish at putting them on the fire.

Put the chicken and potatoes on to roast and went back to looking at family history.  Made more progress with my Aunt Alice, whose christian name was relatively unusual in the late 19th century.  Having found a site which gives free access to the censuses, I found an Alice Roberts living with a Chetwood family in 1911 and she was their grand daughter aged 6 and born in Llanfyllin in Montgomeryshire.  She had become a Chetwood by the time she married my Uncle Alfred in 1931.   I am now wondering if both my grandmother, Ada, married a Chetwood but was actually born a Roberts, and had Alice before she married. That could be another reason why Alice was born in such a remote corner of Wales.

Thank you Ms Noddi

Monday 2 February 2015

Crisp and frosty

Worked on computer for most of day.  At around 4 pm had cabin fever so went and rejoined the local leisure centre and dived into the warm waters with some fervour.  Hardly anyone in the pool.  Did 20 lengths and thought of Ms Noddi who taught me to swim many moons ago. One of the best things I have ever learned to do.  I am completely cross eyed without my lenses so it took me a while to realise that the new lifeguard was in fact a former colleague with whom I had had a virulent falling out several years ago.  When I went to collect my key, he did not seem to recognise me. I am 15 kilos lighter and have different colour hair.  Do I just look ancient?  True that I never ever wore a swimsuit to the office.  A lady swam up to me and obviously recognised me and started to chat.  The waters took away the heat of my embarassement because I had absolutely no idea who she was.  

Pulverised my various wobbly bits in the water jets and had a steam.  Bliss.

January roundup

31 January 2015

At the end of the first month of the good ship, leaving normal, progress has been made.  At the start of this blog, I listed the things I will make happen this year.  Item 7 was that WF should get a job and this has happened and item 8 was that I should know I am on the right road.   The great thing about writing is that it stops time slipping away and then you wonder what on earth you have done.  Time is made up of so many small events and it is so important to do something each day which feeds you as an individual.

This has been shown jokingly in this example:

By A Professor • October 23, 2012  Sunny Skyz website thank you

image: http://www.sunnyskyz.com/uploads/2013/05/c0cv8-professor-golf-balls-sand-jar-life.jpg

This is a very important life lesson that a philosophy teacher taught his students.

The teacher cleared off his desk and placed on top of it a few items. One of the items was an empty mason jar. He proceeded to fill up the jar with golf balls until he could fit no more. He looked at the classroom and asked his students if they agree that the jar is full. Every student agreed that the jar was indeed full.

The teacher then picked up a box of small pebbles and poured them into the jar with the golf balls. The pebbles filled all of the openings in between the golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full. Once again, they agreed.

Now the teacher picked up a bag of sand and poured it into the mason jar. The sand filled in all of the empty space left between the golf balls and pebbles. He asked the class again if the jar was full. The students agreed it was technically full.

Finally, the teacher pulled out a bottle of milk chocolate from under his desk and poured it into the jar filling the empty space between the sand. Now the students began to laugh wondering how far this was going.

The teacher waited until the laughter stopped. "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life," he started. "The golf balls represent the important things. Your family, children, health, friends, and passions. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles represent the other things in life that matter, such as your job, house and car. The sand---that is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand in first, there is no room for the pebbles or golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all of your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are most important. Pay attention to the important things in your life.

Enjoy time with family. Go to dinner with your spouse. Play games with your kids. There will ALWAYS be time to clean the house or take yourself shopping.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. The rest is just sand. You are dismissed."

Before the students left, one shouted out. "You never mentioned what the chocolate milk represents!"

The professor smiled and said, "Well I'm glad you asked. There is always room in your life for chocolate!."

or before by Steven Covey when he talks about the four different sectors of activity in which we pass our days.  He categorises activities according to their importance and their urgency.  Almost all of us will do the urgent and important stuff first.  We will pass our spare time doing the not urgent and not important stuff - playing on Facebook or reading blogs for example.  However, the category of not urgent and important is one which we often neglect.  Activities which make us grow as people, involve work.  We put these activities on the bucket list.  We dream about them and they lurk in the back of our minds, waving their arms and tapping on our consciences.  They are the most important things of all.  For me, writing is the thing that is important but not urgent and so here we are, reading my thoughts and assessing where we are at the end of month one.

Back to Steven's own words, taken from his best selling book, the 7 habits of highly effective people;

So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster. 

Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen. 

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.

so, my Mission Statement.  This is really tough

To use my gifts of intelligence, charisma, and serial optimism to make a difference to people's lives."

I have always had trouble visualising exactly where I want to be and what I want to be but it came to me as I was walking at sunset the other evening.

1.  Sell my European properties

2.  Buy the house of my dreams, convert the barn into studios and run craft courses with the best and most inspirational teachers.  Become a well known marque and travel the world, speaking and meeting new and inspirational people.  Take in local youngsters on apprenticeships and nurture their talents.

3.  Set up a craft foundation and give work to people in economically depressed areas.  Make a difference to people's lives.

4.  Play with my grandchildren on the lawns and fish with them in the river.

5.  Have all of my family close by.

6.  See my dear friends regularly.