Monday 23 March 2015
Cool and showery 11 degrees
My accountant's emails were starting to sound desperate so I had booked in a visit to see her today. Over here, the financial year end is December and the accounts are supposed to be in by the end of March. I find that by cutting it short, the work gets done after the rush and I get the results very quickly. Note that she had not been desperate enough to actually pick up the phone and ring me. That happens when you get to the last 7 days.
In the early days, when I was earning stellar amounts of money, I used to be seen by a partner. When hard times hit, I got busted down to an accounting clerk and we have stayed together ever since. S is on the telephone when I arrive so I chat to the receptionist N who is a lovely lady and gets slightly fatter every year. It has been eleven years and she is now filling the chair. She eases herself out, offers a coffee and settles me into a spartan room with views of the car park.
I have a problem in that I am about to have a good year. Good years mean I will suffer immense amounts of social charges. S arrives and shuffles through my paperwork. I may be always late but it is always complete and well prepared. The social charges, which pay for health, pension, sickness and a proportion of the national debt (yes, really) are levied at 40% of income after sales tax and related expenses ie my net profit. I ask her for some ideas of how to reduce my net profit. She sucks her teeth and suggests I go out for lots of nice meals. (yes, really). I say, how about if I buy a new car and what if it is eco-friendly. She says that there is a maximum amount I could spend - 25000 euros but not all of that can be written off - only 18500 euros. What happens to the rest? It just stays in your balance sheet. And that is only for cars with under 20 grams CO2 emissions. If I were to buy a gas guzzler, I could only write off 9500 euros. My hatred of the taxation system is rekindled. Why the hell cant you write off the lot? S shrugs. It is the law.
I ask her for other ideas. She is starting to look hot under the collar. I say how about if I rent an office. Yes that would be OK. How about if I rent an office for myself or keep a room at home and charge expenses (shouldn't these ideas have been coming from my accountant???). S says how would I pay for that with my current bank balance. I ask about changing regime to a more favourable one. S says she needs to ask the partner I used to see.
OH is lurking outside and reading a tome on the Peninsular Wars. Please don't ask me what these were about.
We repair to McDonald's which is no where near the amount, apparently, I should be spending on lunch and then go to the large DIY store where we try to find a very narrow door. OH has decided to try and hide the massive and luminously white water tank which the plumber has stuck onto the wall in the new rental unit. Finding a very narrow door, as you would imagine, isn't that easy. There is only one trolley left in the bay and it is of the badly behaved variety, with wonky wheels and rotting base. OH charges off into the shop, shouting 'follow me' and I try to keep up but the trolley has other ideas and veers off into displays, causing chaos. It responds neither to pushing or pulling and I have to holler at OH to come back and we contain it by seizing a side each.
It occurs to me that I may be able to find things for my latest crafting obsession so I go in search of a hand drill, spray on glue and silica balls. Various men send me off on various wild goose chases. Find OH wrestling with the badly behaved trolley and two metres of long thin wood. Manoeuvre this and the thin door into the car and I get to sit in the back seat which means I can play on my phone all the way home without OH complaining that I am rude and ignoring him.
I have three missed calls from the would be buyer of the house in town. I don't know why they keep ringing me. I cant help them with their dilemma. I don't have a time machine to go back and get the owners to sign their offer first. We need to wait to hear from the sellers advocate. Ring the seller. Her only defence is probably temporary insanity. I suggest, very subtly, that she must have been very stressed. She is very stressed and it is about 15 minutes before I get a word in edge ways. I suggest a trip to the doctor to TALK ABOUT HER STRESS and get medication might help her case. I must have been too subtle and she must have been too stressed because she definitely didn't take anything on board. I cant face talking to the would be buyers.
We do a catch up of the emails and tasks for the day and I peel two boxes of prawns before going for a swim. Have a rental enquiry so speak to him and then try ringing some other people who aren't in. OH makes utterly delicious chili seafood risotto.