Meanderings on Farage, cheese and dog diets

Tuesday 12 May 2015

Overcast and warm 22 degrees

Surprised to see that it had rained in the night.  Dog and I sat on the step and enjoyed a cup of tea and some toast.  Dog's teeth aren't what they were so I have to give him a little saucer of tea and the toast has to soften a little before he can eat it.  He seems to have developed a liking for marmalade.  A while ago, I was eating an orange and he was looking very interested so I gave him a little.  He enjoys orange when it is hot.  He is also very partial to highly spiced food, although it does make him lick his chops for a very long time afterwards and he gets through gallons of water.  For an old dog, he enjoys a wide variety of flavours and textures.  He used to be very keen on cheese.  WF trained him using cheese, which has been an expensive choice down the years.

OH went down to the flat to create some more chaos and I enjoyed some P and Q and loaded up one and a half properties and generally made a lot more progress than I ever make whilst he is here and going on about things.

At 12 the new buyers of the llama farm rang and I told them that they needed to up their offer by 10 000 euros and we would have a deal.  They said they would think about it. Strange experience having a conference call with one person in UK and the other in the States.  Strange competing background voices with a mix of US and UK accents.  WF rang to say that he had been put forward for a couple of interviews.

OH came home briefly for lunch and then went to do some shopping.  We discussed the offer on the flat and decided that we really were not happy with taking some of the price in cash.  What if the cash was in denominations that we couldn't use.  We live in Hicksville and no one ever produces notes bigger than fifties.  What if it was forged? What if he didn't pay us at all?  I emailed the buyer and said regretfully that we could not go ahead.  One hour later he rang and said, OK, we would put it all through the notary and I felt a great weight lift from my shoulders.  Now I really feel that it is sold.  Youpee!!  Speaking of Hicksville, reminds me of a time I was in a supermarket queue.  Behind me was a small girl and her grandma.  In front of me was a man in a suit.  'Mamie' enquired the little girl 'is that man the President?'.  No one wears suits in our part of France.  I have been out here so long that going back to the UK and seeing men in suits and shirts and ties comes as a bit of a culture shock.

Mid afternoon went to see my notary and run through the various cases we have going through.  I must be in high esteem because she actually walked me to the door.  OH said I should have hinted that I would like some champagne for Christmas.  He is a one....

OH went fishing later on and I made chilli and accidentally puts loads of dried flakes of chilli into the mix.  Dog was thrilled.  OH had to join him in drinking gallons of water.

Nigel Farage 'I am a man of my word and I am going to resign' has unresigned after three days.  What a guy he is.  I wonder how many closet Farage lovers there are out there?  I tend to regard him more of a reality tv personality rather than a politician.  I would not vote for him or UKIP under any circumstances but I do feel that politics would be a duller place without him.  Cameron is bringing forward the Referendum on staying in or out of Europe. We need to sell up and leave here.  If the UK votes to come out, Europe will no longer be such a warm and cosy place for us.  Both OH and I agree we need to live near the sea and on the west coast of the UK however there is a huge mileage inbetween our desired locations.  He is thinking Lakes and I am thinking Devon.  I have told him, under no circumstances am I going back to the North West.  He says we mustnt be intransigent.  Oh, I rather think we can.

Good news about the Villa and we eat pancakes

Saturday 11 April 2015

Hot and sunny
24 degrees

Today was read through day of the contract with the Russian buyers and English sellers.  I usually do this on Skype as, having visual, I can better gauge their level of stress and comprehension.  The Russian guy had everything printed out and it took about 40 minutes.  He said they are setting off by car tomorrow to drive down.  They love the adventure.  He works for an air base - why doesnt he like flying?  In the part of the contract where the parties declare they are legally competent to contract, the Russian said he had regular psychological assessments so could prove he was sane.  Nice...  Some of my other clients could do with furnishing a certificate, in fact so could most of the residents of my local town.

The English sellers were far more stressed.  The lady is pale and drawn.  They have a large stock of animals to move, are going to another European country, and their notary has been asking for paperwork which they haven't got and possibly never had.  They had done extensive work on the barns, with full planning permission, but it may be that they never got the conformity of the works checked out by the relevant authorities, to see that they were in agreement with the planning consent.  Knowing local communes as I do, the main purpose of this assessment is to see if they are paying enough land tax, which is based on rooms and total habitable area.  Their land tax did rise substantially at the completion of the works, so it is likely to have been signed off.  They think that the notary has enquired in the wrong commune office but of course, it is the weekend, everything is closed and the notary is not answering her phone.  We get over this hill and read the rest and say see one another Tuesday next for the signing.

I then go down town and meet the owner of the Villa which interests the ladies from NZ. She  says she is in town for the duration as her 94 year mother is in her 'end of life' period.  We look through the house and I realise that it is not in such a bad state as OH had said - not having been in it for some months.  The boiler was replaced ten years ago, full diagnostics were done just a year ago and showed no termite activity, and another agent has requested a quote for the electricity.  We discuss price and I say the ladies are very interested and the owner says they would come down 8%.  That is not going to be enough. Get back home and have siesta.  Feel exhausted and the bronchitis medications have given me revolting salty and metallic taste in my mouth.

OH goes fishing for a couple of hours and I clean up and email ladies to say I have some good news about the Villa.  Walk dog.  Countryside smells sweet and growing.  There is absolutely nothing in the cupboard so have pancakes with sultanas.  Dog likes pancakes too so we sit on the doorstep and enjoy the sunshine and the food and then he snoozes and I listen to the birds in the tall trees.  The phone rings.  It is the owner of the house that the ladies from NZ offered on.  He says he is waiting for other offers to come in but admits that the 390k offer he told me about yesterday is subject to 100% financing.  i.e.  has 100% chance of being refused.  One of the reasons I left the French agency with which I worked is the fact that the French banks are extremely shy at parting with their funds.  He is still not ready to accept the offer I have and says I need to cut fees by 50% and get the ladies to up their offer by 50K.  Cheers mate.  I bet you love doing your work for half price.   The Villa is a much more interesting house which will, upon renovation, have a far greater capital value. Also, I get to keep my fee percentage.  All to play for in favour of the Villa.

Watch the Curse of the Were Rabbit.  Eeeey lad.   Cheeeese!

The lovely Graham Norton ...

Sunday 15 January 2015

Lots of rain - 4 degrees warming to 13

OH took dog out for constitutional and I baked lemon meringue pie and mince pies. Listened to Graham Norton.  He is the only 'celebrity' I would actually invite to a party.  He is on the Radio and does a particularly amusing agony aunt feature, accompanied by a lady presenter.  They have quite different opinions of the issues and then the public chips in.  I used to greatly enjoy reading his agony aunt column in the Saturday Telegraph.  He has a lot of compassion, our Graham, and much empathy.

"Remember that sleeping with friends is lazy and selfish: we don't cook our pets just because we're hungry and they're sitting right by the oven."  —Graham on troublesome relationships

 

"Dogs and DIY are where relationships end up, not where they start." —Graham on looking for love

 

"Stay on the moral high ground—it's much easier to swing a baseball bat from there."  —Graham on forgiving betrayal

 

I also love his sometimes waspish tone and how he is not afraid to reprimand.

From Wikipedia :  Upon joining Equity, he chose Norton as his stage name, which is his great-grandmother's maiden name. In 1992 his stand-up comedy drag act in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe as a tea-towel clad Mother Teresa of Calcutta made the press when Scottish Television's religious affairs department mistakenly thought he represented the real Mother Teresa.

Someone at work has gone on a sudden sabbatical.  Have they jumped or were they pushed? Need to find out.

The good ship Leaving Normal is treading water this month, so far.   Oh yes, a tricky sale seems to have sorted itself out, without my having to get involved - the parties have come to an agreement between themselves.  However, another sale is kicking off again with the vendor being asked to pay for a survey, for which he has no legal obligation, and he has said if the buyer wants it, they can pay for it.  Alternatively, he has suggested I can pay half out of my 'generous fees'.  My generous fees are diminished by the introducer, VAT and social charges and resemble a Maasdam cheese, ravaged by very hungry rats suffering from a cheese deprivation regime, by the time they have finished taking their bites.  The buyer has also greatly benefited from the change in the dollar rate so they can put up or shut up, basically, is the notary's opinion.

Ripped up old, dead matter off the garden during the brief sunny period.  One of the long borders is now completely clear.  Many tiny tufts of Nigella poking through.